Chapter 2
Family and friends, all there for one reason- the death of Amber, mother of Emilio. He was there, reunited with the worst family he could imagine, and the worst part was that it was HIS family. His grandmother was crying and talking to the people, receiving condolences with arms wide open. But something was hidden behind that mask of a good mother. He always knew that his grandma was a woman with an inexorable heart, a woman with less desire for raising children than making money from nasty business.
Three things were clear: He was alone, very, very alone; he was going to find those guilty of her murder. And, he was going to shout if those boys kept eating like pigs in this place of mourning.
His uncle was sitting to his right, not weeping, not sobbing, and not making a sound. He only was there occupying a place someone more worthy should have. He was her brother for God´s sake! Why was he so calm?
A boy, the fat one whose face held traces of food, laughed hard and a ball of chewed chips fell from his mouth.
Behind him was the son of his uncle, his cousin. He hated Amber for some reason. He didn´t know why, but could feel it.
The other boy went to the vending machine, kicking it and hitting it with force to make the product fall.
I don’t care. I´ll yell in this place. I don´t care. How can these people act like this? It looks more like a club than a funeral home. Idiots! They don´t feel what I feel. They only came because it was expected of them.
The boy was screaming at the vending machine. “C´mon! C´mon!” And no adult attempted to stop him.
Emilio stood with tight fists and fury in his eyes.
“Shut the hell up! All of you!” screamed Emilio.
Pairs of eyes were on him in an instant, surprised or scared.
“Dammit! How can you act like this? Talking with such indifference as if nothing had happened. She´s dead and you´re talking about how the night went with your boyfriend, and all kind of stupid things. And then that fatty boy eating like a pig. What´s wrong with you?” he asked the boy next to the vending machine.
“My candy won´t fall” answered the boy.
“I´ll give you your stupid candy!”
He walked toward the vending machine, and for a moment, the mother of the boy considered getting up in case of some aggression.
“Here! Take your candy. There´s nothing to cry for in this place. We all are fine” yelled Emilio while kicking and hitting the vending machine with the palms of his hands.
Then the hate, desperation and pain took control of his actions. Hate for the one that killed his mother, desperation because of this hypocritical people, the pain of losing a loved one which left him with the deepest loneliness.
He yelled like a maniac hitting the machine, leaving it at the edge of falling apart.
“If you´re here feeling nothing you can leave!” he shouted to the crowd of ashamed souls before knocking down a flowerpot. The pot broke and the sound echoed in the tense silence, then blended with the languid steps of Emilio. He was leaving.
The sun embraced his body like a warm hug. His limbs were still shivering, but his mind was focused in the feelings that lacerated his heart. He was alone. Even with a hundred people around him, he felt that way. His friends meant nothing to him right now. No one meant anything. He knew that the world would hate him and he would hate the world because his desire in life would be driven by the will to catch the one guilty of her death. He wouldn´t have time to maintain relations.
His cousin approached and in a mocking voice said, “That was a spectacle you gave in there. You looked worse than those kids, yelling like a maniac”
“Leave me alone you idiot” answered without turning around.
“Oh yeah. You said that the people that felt nothing could leave. That´s what I’m doing”.
A need to fight him arose, but he didn´t know if that was possible. He didn´t know him well enough to determine if he would win.
“I bet my mother didn´t like you either. Whatever she did to you I´m glad”
“So am I. Now she is dead”
Emilio turned and his fist flew to the face of Mike. He stopped the first blow, then the second, but he ran out of hands and couldn´t stop Emilio´s head.
“Suffer moron”
Mike laughed “I'm warning you, you'll have to be less impulsive if you want to survive with me."
“Leave me alone.”
“You´re alone already.” said Mike removing a smear of blood from his face, and left with a smile of satisfaction.
I´m not gonna make it. The pain is too strong. But he is right, I´m alone. So alone the meaning of life is lost. What do I do? What!? How? Where to start? Where to find the peace? I want to cry. Let out this painful pressure in my chest.
A pair of heels struck the pavement with the indifference of a presumptuous woman. It was Elena. The closest friend of his mother walked slowly, her tired eyes were red from so much crying, but her shiny black hair danced with every step. She ran toward Emilio and hugged him, crying softly.
“I´m sorry” Elena sounded weak and was short of words.
Emilio stayed rigid, welcoming the hug with an attitude of tolerance and respect. The last thing he wanted was affection, the affection of these people. He wanted the love that only his mother could give him. A now nonexistent love.
“How are you, dear?” asked Elena holding his hands.
“It´s not as hard as I expected” he lied.
She forced a smile.
“I´m so sorry” she couldn´t stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. “It is my fault. I started all of this”
“No you didn´t, but I want to ask you something”
She nodded.
“Do you know the name, maybe, of someone that worked there?
“You… you mean the…
“You know what I mean” Emilio abruptly interrupted, but with a quiet voice.
“Aurelio. He was the guy who accompanied the kids. He left them at the school and picked them up too.
“Aurelio. Thanks Elena”
She left him with a last “I´m sorry” and entered the building which nested the worst of people. The liars. The haters. The idiots. The insensible. The scum. The hypocrites. Just a few felt like him. Elena, perhaps.
He clung to the parking lot fencing and cried, attempting to suppress the moans. He turned around and let the tears carry away his pain. He walked to the nearest wall and laid his back against it for a second before sitting down on the dusty ground, his head between his knees.
Why?! Why?! Why?! Motherrrrrr… He cried for the first time with anguish.
Mother. That little word had turned painful. And the inevitable question. Why? Why? There´s always a need to ask that question.
Angela was hiding behind her mother trying to walk unnoticed. She wanted with all her heart to say something to Emilio, consoling words; but she had never been in that kind of situation. How to start? And what if she hurt him more? And if he wanted to be alone? She was daydreaming when she noticed him sitting alone on the ground.
“Is that Emilio?” asked her mother.
The two-legged form raised his head and shiny drops of tears were exposed to the diurnal sun. It was Emilio.
They kept walking, then she suddenly changed direction toward him the direction. She had to act quickly. This was her opportunity. Or she was being selfish?
“Mo…mom… I… I´ll go” said Angela with a trembling voice, heart trying to escape, butterflies bumping in her stomach.
“Are you sure?
“Yes” she whispered, and walked faster.
She felt a hand holding her elbow “Watch your words. He just lost his mother”
Angela nodded her head. What her mother said just made her feel more nervous.
She thought to herself, You can do it! Just stand next to him and say something. But I hardly know him. What to do? Maybe later. No. If he wants to be alone, he would tell me, right? But… Am I being selfish? I´m just thinking of me? No… I… I… love… No! How can you say that? I don´t… Sympathy! Yeah, that´s the word. But it is a very strong sympathy. I like him.
Her cheeks blushed with the thought. Her beautiful red temples made her look like a little and shy girl, more than she was.
Emilio looked up and saw a girl of his own age. Her slender and white arms shivered on a delicate but beautiful body. Her face trembled as well. She extended a hand that moved without control.
